Teen Says He Hates His Autistic Little Sister And People Have Surprising Advice

sydney.brooman 11 Apr 2019

Being human does not equate to being perfect.

Sure, we can try our very best to react to every situation in a fair and logical way, but assuming that we'll react fairly every single time just isn't realistic.

As much as we don't want to admit it, we've all felt misguided envy, anger, or hatred at one point in our lives.

Sibling relationships can be inherently complicated, even more so when other factors come into play.

Unsplash | Limor Zellermayer

A Reddit user recently shared his personal sibling story online, and to say that the circumstances are complicated would be an understatement.

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"My sister is severely autistic. She requires attention almost 24/7 and cannot be left alone"

Unsplash | Andy Art

He writes that his sister is non-verbal and unable to take care of herself.

"Despite the fact that she is only 12 she is extremely destructive and violent and destroys anything she gets her hands on."

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"I hate her. That should be wrong to say but it doesn't feel like it"

Reddit | @rennegadesrule33

He explains that since his sister was born, he's never had his parents' attention.

When he was seven, he was moved out of his room into the basement so his sister could be closer to his parents.

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Throughout his childhood, she destroyed all of his belongings, and his parents seemingly didn't care.

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"Even when I was 14 and she destroyed a mac my school gave me," he writes, "I was told that I was in the wrong"

His sister's actions were excused over and over again, while his disagreements were ignored.

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The Reddit user is expected to drop everything to take care of his sister.

Unsplash | Ana Francisconi

He explains that he can never make plans with friends because his parents expect him to be on call in case is sister needs something.

"It seems as if I am nothing more than a slave to them" he writes.

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He was even grounded for turning his phone off at the movie theater while watching the new Spider Man movie.

Unsplash | Denise Jans

"Even when I do somehow get time to myself I am required to leave if they need me. If I do not then I am punished."

His parents have essentially made it clear to him that his main priority should be being a brother, not a kid.

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Everything involving his sister overshadows him.

Unsplash | Sharon McCutcheon

On one hand, it really isn't an equal situation, since the parents need to devote more time to a child with behavioral issues. However, it isn't fair to completely disregard their son.

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The parents are even missing out on important milestones.

Unsplash | Luan Cabral

"This last week I was chosen to give a speech at a school event," he explains, "I was so excited and my parents promised to be there, but they never showed and claimed it was because of my sister."

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"I've held this in for so long and it finally spilled out today"

Unsplash | Christian Erfurt

While talking about college with his parents, The Redditer's father told him that he should get a degree that pays well so that he can take care of his sister once his parents are gone.

This teen is legitimately being told that his entire purpose is to look after his sister.

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The resentment that he'd built up for so long was suddenly too much.

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"I don't know why but this caused me to break down," he said, "I cried and screamed about how it always about her. I'm nothing more than a caretaker to them".

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Usually, posts like this are met with a lot of backlash, but surprisingly, comments of support began to roll in.

Reddit | @rennegadesrule33

A lot of people said that even though the Redditer's sister needs more attention, the parents aren't handling the situation in the right way.

One commenter suggested family therapy, so that the teen is able to communicate the way he feels to his parents in a safe space.

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Someone with Autism even shared their opinion.

Reddit | @rennegadesrule33

Since the poster's sister is non-verbal, this commenter was able to give key insight into what she might be thinking in feeling within the dynamic, which hadn't be mentioned up to that point.

"We aren't pets and we shouldn't just be thrown around like 'okay you’ll take care of him now' no, if you dont wanna take care of us, fine, but don't throw us in someone’s hands without even asking US first"

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The majority of commenters agreed that though the teen should help, his sister should not be solely his responsibility.

Reddit | rennegadesrule33

"Parents shouldn't have more kids than they can personally supervise," one person said.

Fairness was the central issue. Why should a child have to take care of another child? He certainly didn't sign up for that.

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The most surprising aspect of the situation was that the original poster returned to thank the commenters for changing his perspective.

Reddit | rennegadesrule33

"After thinking about it for these past hours," he shared, "you are right that I don't despise my sister. It's not her fault that she was born the way she is".

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All of us are hoping that this teen and his parents get an opportunity to talk about these issues.

Unsplash | Pablo Merchán Montes

He explained that though him and his parents are still at odds, he hopes to have a productive conversation about the issue with them in the future.

"Thank you again for all the love and support through this".

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