These Are The Reasons Why Your Wife Is Super Stressed All The Time

Diply 5 Jun 2017

You met, you dated, you got married and now you live together as husband and wife. But somewhere along the way, things changed.

Why is she so stressed all the time? Rather than trying to make things better with band-aid solutions, you can get to the heart of things—and, hopefully, alleviate her stress—by identifying the root causes of her worries.

You don't talk.

Stocksy | Rob and Julia Campbell

Sure, you communicate the bare necessities to each other. But when was the last time you actually had a good conversation?

If all you talk about is tomorrow's obligations or how lousy your day was, you're probably stressing her out. Spend some time together, shut out the distractions, and actually talk.

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You're not making the changes she wants.

Unsplash | Brooke Cagle

How many times have you discussed/argued responsibilities in the house? How many times have you pledged to do a better job of pulling your weight when it comes to chores and meals?

When you're clearly making no effort to follow through on promises you've made in the past, it's no wonder she's exasperated with you.

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You're not asking the right questions.

Laurie Calzada | Laurie Calzada

Sometimes couples talk, but have a way of deftly talking around the elephant in the room.

You don't want to probe too much, but you do want to know what's going on inside her head. If you don't know what she's thinking and feeling, how are you going to be a better husband?

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Where'd the excitement go?

Habor Counseling Associates | Habor Counseling Associates

It's easy to stay exciting when you're newly in love. After a few years though, you'll need to put more effort into it.

You may have locked each other down, but don't get complacent. Date nights, gifts, special moments and surprises never get old.

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She's the only one doing the cooking.

iBelieve | iBelieve

Your family needs three meals a day, and that food has to come from somewhere. As tempting as it may be to sit back and let someone else cook at the end of a long day, you need to pitch in.

No one's asking you to create gourmet masterpieces, but surely you can boil spaghetti and heat up some sauce to give your sweetheart a break from time to time.

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You're tidying, she's cleaning.

Good Housekeeping | Good Housekeeping

It isn't that hard to keep things from looking neat and tidy. Pick up clutter and put it back in its place, put stray dishes in the dishwasher, you know the drill.

This is important, but so is cleaning. Someone needs to bust out the cleaning supplies and push a vacuum around from time to time—and if the division of labor isn't equal, there's bound to be stress.

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She feels like the only parent.

The Conversation | The Conversation

Your kids have two parents, so logically you should evenly divide the labor.

When the childcare falls entirely on one parent, especially when there's a second parent present who's slacking off, it's bound to build resentment and stress.

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She never gets to do her thing.

Wikimedia Commons | Wikimedia Commons

When was the last time you asked your wife what movie she'd like to watch or where she'd like to go for dinner? Everyone needs some TLC, and there's a chance your wife isn't getting as much as she used to.

Make an effort to treat her right and show her how valued she is.

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She needs time.

Unsplash | Ben White

We're all familiar with the feeling of the day just not having enough hours to get everything done. Adult life is complicated, and it's a safe bet that your wife feels this way from time to time.

You can help, though: anytime there's a task she's doing that you can finish off, or anytime you can help clear up her schedule, do it. She will absolutely appreciate the effort.

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She needs space.

Nina Baker | Nina Baker

Likewise, everyone knows what it's like to just want to shut yourself in a room and be alone. If you have kids, the constant noise can become grating and sometimes you just want a break.

Just like you can make extra time for your wife, you can also create space. When the kids are acting up, take them out—and encourage her to decompress with a hot bath and a book.

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Your priorities aren't straight.

iStock | iStock

Too many guys give 110 percent at the office, only to crash when they get home. If you do this, you'd better believe that your wife notices that you put in zero effort once the workday is done.

When you pour your soul into your work, it affects your relationships at home. Check yourself and make sure you're doing enough for your family.

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You dominate arguments.

Unsplash | Priscilla Du Preez

Disagreements are going to pop up, that's a given. So what's your arguing style? Do you actually listen to her, or is it your way or the highway?

When a person is unable to address their concerns with a loved one, they'll wind up bottling things up—making them unhappy and stressed.

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She's in charge of too much.

Newport Beach Independent Online | Newport Beach Independent Online

Your house and your family operate like a transit hub—there are schedules, commitments, expenses and issues to work through. Someone's gotta run things, and chances are, it's your wife.

Don't just be another body in the house. Be her co-captain, rather than her employee.

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She's down.

Stocksy | Alexey Kuzma

It's easy to feel like you're in a rut from time to time. You've felt it, and your wife probably feels it too.

Communicate with her, ask her about her feelings, and help around the house. Be a good husband, because that's what she deserves.

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She's doing everything.

Stocksy | Cara Slifka

Do you ever get the feeling that your wife is working her tail off while you're just slacking off? That's not a feeling, friend—that's reality.

Even when you're tired or stressed yourself, pitch in around the house whenever you can. And if she wants to get something off her chest, even if she's just venting, you owe it to her to listen.

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