If 2020 has taught me anything, it's that an entire bottle of wine isn't really as much wine as you think it is. In fact, it's really not that much at all.
I mean, how else can you explain the fact that I've managed to personally start and finish every bottle I've opened this year? Either they're putting less in those things... or this garbage heap of a year has hit me harder than I thought.
Personally, I think we should celebrate those individuals because they're out there making sure no drop of wine goes to waste.
Well done, you booze enthusiasts, well done.
But sometimes, sharing really isn't caring. And sometimes, you just have to be brutally honest with that person who's trying to steal your good time away from you.
"Sorry, but there just isn't enough for both of us."
Especially when the time comes for them to open their own bottle of wine, and suddenly you're in the mood to share again.
Hey, I didn't say everyone can drink an entire bottle by themselves. Some people need a little help, whether they realize it or not.
They've come to realize that I simply cannot part with the amount of wine that would fill their glass, because that's less wine that'll fill mine. That's why I've started showing up to social events with my very own bottle, so everyone knows it's mine and mine alone.
What can I say? I'm a selfish drinker.
Cheers!
