16 Things Kids Said That Had Us Dying Of Laughter

Diply 25 Jan 2018

Kids are hilarious, they really are. Their combination of innocence and a lack of filter makes them solid comedic gold.

Pair that with the fact that they're really loud, and they tend to create some pretty embarrassing situations at the absolute worst times.

Single Dad Laughing asked his Facebook page "What's the funniest thing you've ever heard a child say?"

The question has received hundreds of responses, some of which have me LOLing at my computer at work. I thought I'd share some with you, so get ready for some chuckles!

1. Kids come up with the best insults! I'm dying!

Giphy | Giphy

"I have 6 boys.A while back they all discovered that one of them had hair on their lower back. They called him "Buttstache" for MONTHS."

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2. Well, they really did!

Instagram | @angel_lorrice

"I had done my 3 year old's hair in pigtails using those hair ties that have colored balls on the end. We got home late and I didn't take her hair down. When I woke her up the next morning, she rolled over and said, 'my balls really hurt.'"

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3. Oh boy...I didn't think we'd be having the sex talk in the middle of the produce section. 

Giphy | Giphy

"When my sister was about 5, we were walking into the grocery store and she asked my mom very loudly, 'mommy, are you a virgin?'"

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4. This kid has a great attitude! Also, get on it, Mattel! 

Instagram | @prima_inter_pares_

"My granddaughter came over and found that our dog had chewed half a leg off one of her Barbie dolls. I️ apologized to her and without missing a beat, she excitedly said, 'Cool, shark attack Barbie!'"

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5. I would've done the same.

Giphy | Giphy

"On a family trip with my mom, stepdad, and children, my then 3 year old blurted out 'can I shave your beaver (beard)?' to my stepdad. I almost wrecked the car."

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6. Not what I meant, kid. Not what I meant.

Instagram | @marleyrille

"6 y.o. daughter, to her brother: You're such a f---ing, a------! Me: Hey! We don't say those words. Apologize to your brother! Her: I'm sorry you're such a f---ing, a------."

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7. Oh no! I hope wifey has a good sense of humor!

Giphy | Giphy

"When my daughter was 4 years old, she had a huge crush on a lovely older man at our church. Once Sunday, she walked right up to his wife and loudly proclaimed, 'As soon as you die, I'm going to marry your husband.'"

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8. This kid is my new hero.

Instagram | @mr_o.24

"During a doctor's visit, the urologist asked my 3 year old son to pull his pants and underwear down. When she went to examine him, he looked up at her and said, 'Awkward.'"

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9. I would DIE!

Giphy | Giphy

"When my son was 3 yrs old, I would show him his dirty underwear at bath time and explain he wasn't wiping properly. So at a laundromat, he was helping me put clothes in the machine. He found a pair of my bloodstained panties. He held them up and screamed 'mommy, you're not wiping your butt good!'"

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10. Well, he's not wrong! I love when kids interpret things literally.

Instagram | @ravenswingstudio

"Child A: When did Abraham Lincoln die? Child B (9 years younger than A): Most likely when he was shot in the back of the head!"

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11. I feel like this is pretty common — and always funny!

Instagram | @suseyblue

"My son, who was 3 at the time, walked into the bedroom while his Dad was getting dressed and saw him naked. He asked why Daddy has a tail on the front."

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12. I just spit out my coffee.

Giphy | Giphy

"It wasn't what he said but what he did. This kid in a check out line caught me looking at his mom's booty. I turned away real quick. I then checked to see if he was still looking and he was. He just smiled at me, punched his mom's butt, and laughed."

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13. Kids using grown up sayings is my favorite. 

Giphy | Giphy

"Last night I told my daughter to try to go potty but she insisted she didn't have to go. I finally put my foot down. She was grumbling about it, but then immediately started peeing. She looked at me and said 'I stand corrected...or, should I say, I SIT corrected.'"

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14. I'm sure this thought crosses most parents' minds from time to time.

Amazon | Morse Hamilton 

"My 9 year old told me that she Ioves little babies so much that she wants another little sister.... but she wants to sell her when she turns 3 and isn't cute anymore."

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15. I can see why this kid was confused — but this is hilarious!

Instagram | @summit.synchro

"While at school, my son said he was told only circumcised swimmers could stay in the pool. I was furious until I discovered they had a synchronized swim team."

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16. Adorable and funny!

Giphy | Giphy

"I was chopping onions and my eyes teared up. My son asked me why I was crying. I said onions make you cry and he was like, 'they don't do that to me. I guess I don't care about onions that much...' He thought I was sad because I was hurting the onions."

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