Woman Unpacks Why Respecting Your Child’s Privacy Is Vital in an Eye-Opening Message

Bored Panda writes that one Tumblr user reported a parent asking at a Girl Scouts event: “Should parents read their daughter’s texts or monitor her online activity for bad language and inappropriate content?”

Trust is an important aspect to family life. Once that erodes, it can become very difficult to re-establish, according to @daeranilen.

@daeranilen who was the "young woman's voice" in the panel, spoke up. She explained exactly why she thinks it's bad news for a parent to monitor a child's online conversations, and said "This is the most effective way to ensure that your child never tells you anything."

Apparently, that statement was an eye-opener for some.

"It alarms me how quickly adults forget that children are people," wrote @daeranilen, who then spoke of situations in her life when she felt the trust wear away between her and her mother.

The writer noted several milestone events in her life when she stopped communicating with her mother specifically because her mother didn't trust her. The writer says she mentioned all these things during a panel when she was 21 and her mom was in the audience. She says the mom told her: "You know I read those because I was worried you were depressed and going to hurt yourself, right?"

@daeranilen summed the whole thing up for those who weren't sure: Maybe you don't have to sneak in and read your son or daughter's diary or read their online posts if you actually talk with your child during other times. And it's not just talking to them, but listening to them, and being patient when/if they have trouble getting out what they want to say.

Others chimed in and agreed that sometimes parents just don't know that what they're doing (whether checking their diary or not listening to their concerns) is harmful. "At one point or another, a child WILL keep a secret from you, but if it's to a point where all their emotional feelings are being poured away from you as opposed to toward you, it's probably because you haven't been trustworthy or open," said @isitscary.

Another parent noted that reading a child's private notes or communications with friends invades their "coping mechanisms." @get-yr-social-work-rage-on also gives the example that if you knew your therapist wasn't keeping your secrets, why would you tell them anything?

One teen noted that these new ways of communicating actually do work. "As a teenager I can one hundred percent guarantee that this is true," wrote acrobaticcatfeline.

The teen has a few more nuggets of valuable advice for parents.